2 more days till I leave for vacation... I magically some how managed to weigh 119 yesterday morning...not sure todays weight as I didn't have time to weigh before work...
if I can manage to stay at 119 before vacation that would be a whole lot better then where I was...
I have barely been eating which isn't good (but then isn't it?) I've also been purging anytime I eat a bigger meal...
at this point I have just given in and let the E.D. take over for now...I am so stressed and down lately that I just gave up ...and right now im ok with that.
hoping for the best for everyone...
Tuesday, August 13, 2013
Tuesday, August 6, 2013
Complete fuck up
uhg so I was doing well with this dandelion detox thing managed to get down to 120.2 ...well then I of course go and fuck it up by drinking a shit ton last night and ended up eating salad and pizza.. WTF is wrong with me.... I fully intended on throwing up the pizza after eating it... except literally right as I got done eating my friend showed up...givin that no one I work with knows about my eating issues I couldn't go into the bathroom and ralph...
fuck well after she left in hopes that I could manage to get some up if I drank I proceeded to take shots of vodka.. which didn't end up working tho I was so hung over this morning I threw up what lil stuff I had left in my stomach.. not pleasant
so newho gonna try and make a desperate attempt to keep doing this dandelion tea detox again...possibly everyday till I leave on vacation.... oh man that's a whole other story... I starting packing yesterday and got totally distraught when I tried on a few swim suits and two of the new ones I bought a few months ago don't fit.. my ass and legs are soooo out of shape that I hate how they look in my suits and some of my bottoms are just to tight and create either muffin top or squeeze my butt cheeks out the bottom.. uhg ... who knows if ill even put one on..
right now looking forward to the break from life but not looking forwar to being arounf family, eating and looking disgusting in a swim suit... looks like vacations gonna be filled with a lot of restriction and secret purging
fuck well after she left in hopes that I could manage to get some up if I drank I proceeded to take shots of vodka.. which didn't end up working tho I was so hung over this morning I threw up what lil stuff I had left in my stomach.. not pleasant
so newho gonna try and make a desperate attempt to keep doing this dandelion tea detox again...possibly everyday till I leave on vacation.... oh man that's a whole other story... I starting packing yesterday and got totally distraught when I tried on a few swim suits and two of the new ones I bought a few months ago don't fit.. my ass and legs are soooo out of shape that I hate how they look in my suits and some of my bottoms are just to tight and create either muffin top or squeeze my butt cheeks out the bottom.. uhg ... who knows if ill even put one on..
right now looking forward to the break from life but not looking forwar to being arounf family, eating and looking disgusting in a swim suit... looks like vacations gonna be filled with a lot of restriction and secret purging
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