Well I guess even if it is only for one day I would rather see that happy number and keep hope alive that i will reach it for real...
Things have not been going as planned and in alot of ways Im falling back into bad habbits...
One day this weekend I saw 114.6 on the scale and was so happy. It didnt last tho as I knew it was dehydration.
This morning I was 117.4.. I have been at that number for a while now so there s at least the thought that im actually that weight.,,, I was desperatly hoping that I would be at 115 by friday as I have a swimsuit even that Im dreading... knowing there will be taller thinner girls there is driving me insane.
I have been purging unfortunatly that streak didnt last long.... idk i cant get a hold of myself lately like Im falling apart desperatly grabbing at the pieces before they hit the ground but everytime they slip right through my fingers and hit the ground shattering to dust...
its been getting warmer here and there so im happy i will be able to go for walks with my dog and evening walks alone again... but dreading the thought of wearing something other then my sweat pants and hoodies that i have come acostomed to...
I just want this week to be done... to much on my mind and to much stress
Your highs are getting lower! It is up and down but that def means that you are making progress.
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