worst blogger

I feel like the worst blogger right now ever.... Im sorry I have been MIA for ever... :( things have been one battle after another lately all revovling around my hatred for myself...

idk what my weight is right now... last time i weighed it was 122.4 I feel disgusting and when i look in the mirror i see nothing but gain.. :( I have decided to stick with being a vegitarian after seeing some documenteries and going to a vegatarian/vegan expo i dicided i want to limit my part in all the mess of how animals are treated.

i dont like how things go down in those slaughter houses..with that me and the hubs have decided to no longer eat at fast food places.

I also am trying to limit my dairy intake as well... idk if i'll ever go full vegan but i want to eat less dairy too..

hoping this will help in my weight lose...I have started to sub drinks like diet soda and energy drinks for my meals... i just want to eat as little as possible...

work got me so upset last night that i came home took shot after shot and ended blacking out..hubs had to put me to bed and i have no idea how the night went down..

im so ashamed of myself and how i let go but im trying so hard to get back on track

I've been doing the 30 day sqaut challenge and i am half way through.. its getting really tough.. i also started doing this all over abs routine too

i have to buy bikinis for a new ring girl jobs and so i bought some on ebay all smalls it will force me to lose sense i hate wasting money if i buy it i have to wear it

newho sorry again for being a bad blogger.. im trying to get my head out of this funk so i will want to post more