So things have just been bad lately.... I have been moody and depressed. Im not sleeping as much as I should due to my insomnia....
last night I layed awake for hrs.. and of corse at my tired and fragile state is when "she" makes her move... I layed awake for hrs on end listening to her repeate over and over in my head what a disgusting fat failure I am.....
no matter what I couldnt shut her out.. she just kept going on and on... this morning i was a blank slate of tiredness and complete hate for myself.. even the lower number on the scale didnt help... as I stood there I just thought thats not an achieve ment ....
sigh I hate how im feeling.. but because of the constant ramble of thoughts I awoke with no appitite what so ever... food literally is disgusting me..... yesterday i made it through the day only consuming around 400 cals... today I feel as I wont be able to put a single piece of food in my mouth with out her scream of disapointment.....
I feel as if i will never be skinny... I will never make my goal..... I feel lower then low and I hate it...
Im hopeing this gets better soon.....
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