Tragic events...unimaginable

So nothing like a tragic event to kick start my emotions and get me back on track....

I am still struggling to get out of the 120s... but due to a long weekend ahead i think will get there ....

unfortunatly my Brother inlaw commited suicide late tuesday night/wed morning....he left behind a 2 yr old son and a 8 month pregnant wife.... this is just.. idk i dont even know what to say.. I cant imagine.... and I couldnt imagine being her and finding him.... I was a wreck as well as my husband yesterday. he is worried most of all about is pregnant sister...

I drank myself silly last night untill I was sick.... we leave friday to go to the viewings and will be at my inlaws till monday morning.. well i will be i have to leave monday for rehersals and such my husband is going to stay with his sister till wed morning....

idk this has never happend.. i have had close relatives die but never commit suicide.. and we just saw all of them last firday and everything seemed fine.....


on another note I do feel im getting back on track with my weight gonna be losing and I HAVE to loose because.... I was cast as the female lead in my first paid full length feature film! its still technically considered indie but its paid and i got the lead so i will be working hard to get back down to at least 115 by the time filming starts..... thats the one good thing about knowing i will be filming or shooting it pretty much forces me to keep my act together...

newho I hope all is well with everyone... please keep my family in your thoughts this is a hard time for my sister inlaw and her son.. and will be even harder when she delivers her second child in october :/