I am sorry for being away... things have just been hard... and I still read everyones journals, but its also hard when I see so many doing good with their plans and goals....
I feel useless and like I've failed myself... I hate how i look and how I feel. I feel like a damn rolly polly
I weighed a few days ago and sadly was at 120.... what a disapointment I am....today has been a sit day already....I had a half of a sandwhich and then purged it... I have been purging my dinner every night for the past 4 nights... I know its bad for me I know I shouldnt but I made a promise to my hubby to cook for him more and thats the only way i can handle eating the meal is if I know I get rid of it after... :(
i'm also back on my laxs more .... I had cut down a lot and was doing well when I was eating next to nothing so I felt i didnt need to take them....
now I'm back up to taking at least 5 a night...at least....
I seriously hate my guts right now... I'm sorry if I dont post as much this is just a hard time and Its hard for me to express myself right now....
Oh no. Sorry you are having a hard time. The purging and the lax are not gonna help you in the long run. I hope you can get back to eating light and then not doing those. The cooking for the hubby thing is a tough one for me too. I need to do it b/c he deserves it but then you have to eat it. Hang in there.
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