no new results in weight today still at 127..... part of the problem I know is that I currently cant work out... Thursday night/early morning I fell down my attic stairs. This resulted in a huge bruise on my thigh.... I mean huge..its dark purple I have carpet burn, there are several other bruises but the one on my thigh is the worst... it hurts when im not even doing anything..
so I have been eating as little as possible to counter the fact that I cant do much in workouts till its more healed. I hate being stuck at this huge size... expecially with the holidays right around the corner....
My birthday is in about a month and a half and I am desperate to get down to at least 115 by my birthday...thats a total of 12lbs in 52 days..... yes i know it seems like a little amount in a long amount of time but my body hates me and never wants to lose the weight...
Im still struggling with some life choices I have made lately that dispite my blog being under a different name I still cant bring myself to admit to it, even on here....well struggling isnt the right word...just trying to figure out why im necessarily ok with the choices...
I have been off and on my medications which I know isnt good specially because they are for my depression... but I suprisingly havent been feeling really low or crazy sad like normal when i go off them... just kind of ....static...which is weird like im just drifting not happy not sad just ..am...
thinking about doing a detox soon... and actually sticking to it.. I have tried the past two weeks but they last a day before I am forced to eat dinner with my husband...which then I purge.... I havent kept down a dinner in 3 weeks... my lunches(if i eat lunch) consist of a half a sandwhich... I keep that down but dinner is totally different....anything no matter how healthy or how much i eat at dinner gets thrown up... its a bad habit to be back in but for some reason i cant stop myself...Im falling back down this hole... I'm letting her take control ...and in some ways I dont care...
Sorry you are struggling so much right now. Not being to exercise has got to be a horrible feeling. Hope you heal up soon. My body hates me too and never wants to budge on weight. I'm shooting for about the same goal as you but I have very little hope. Maybe your life choices aren't as bad as you think.
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