on edge

Im soo irritated today... dont know if it was the lack of sleep I got last night or what but I just dont want to deal with anything.

despite my slight weight drop down to 126.2 I am still irritated.. its not good enough but I guess its something(if I can keep it off)  ... no doubt just water weight from purging and using the toilet so much.

neway more and more guilt keeps riding up on me due to just circumstances that have nothing to do with me but remind me of the choice Ive made. tho I know it is wrong and not trying to make an excuse for it, in some slight way Im not as upset about it as I should be because in some since I needed it....

newho blah blah on things I cant even admit to fully out load... considering its a secret in my life that will never be told to anyone... except possibly eventually the one person I should tell...

neway I have a terrible headache from being so on edge and not sleepeing well my neck and shoulders kill from sleeping on my one side for the past week since I cant sleep on my bruised thigh...

just bad in general... I wanna just sleep through the weekend .. or how about the rest of the month....


sorry for a bitchy post... I just needed it...