Monday, December 10, 2012

weekend up date

Thursday: Worked all day managing to have a few crackers here and there. not much going on that day

Friday: 122.2... Went to work in the morning expecting to have a friend meet with me after work. well the work day sucked and then to top it off I got blown off.. AWESOME... so I was angry and in a mood when i came home.. hubs and I went to Maxs and Ermas where I bought two acholic drinks and ate half a club sandwhich and a few fries... which I purged when i got home :/... went to bed due to having to work all day on saturday.

Saturday: 121.4....fuckin weight... had a natural juice for breakfest. worked all day took a 15 min break drank an energy drink and went back on shift...the morning sucked the evening was better... I got home super late and hubs was still in bed.. I ate a piece of weat bread with a smear of mayo and a piece of cheese and went to bed...

Sunday: 123.6...WTF how did i gain when i didnt eat anything but a piece of cheese bread the day before.. WTF... fuck you weight.... un eventful day hubs got home and we of corse got pizza..ate one piece and purged it....got drunk took laxs and went to bed

Today....dont know my weight after puking like 3 times last night from eating and drinking... i woke up late and couldnt weigh before running to work... so I am basically doing horrible.. I purge almost everything I eat... little bits whatever.. I try to just not eat cause I actually hate throwing up... but when i do eat even a little i cant help but think it has to get out of mee faaassstt!!!....idk my bday is almost here and I am not down to the weight I want to be which is depressing.... I feel fat and gross and dont even want to celebrate.... this is just disgusting... why cant I just be thin and happy?

to much to ask for I guess...

4 comments:

  1. i'm so sorry for what you are dealing with. there is no reason you should have gained! it's really not fair. I don't know what the deal is but I am in the same situation. I can only think that maybe our metabolisms are screwed.

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  2. Wow it sounds like you had a tough weekend. I'm sorry to hear it's been hard. I wish we could all be thin and happy. It would be a good world. Stay strong hun.
    XOXO

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  3. Hey Lila, I am trying to get some weight off my bday too and I'm not doing so well either. I've been doing kind of the same thing as you, purging almost everything I eat since last week. I agree with Miranda, I think our metabolisms have changed so it is harder now.
    I'm sorry to hear you're having a hard time, I hope it gets better soon <3
    Alice xx

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  4. Thank you ladies... I appriciate your support

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