Monday, November 5, 2012

a bit of light

Thank the lord I at least managed to get down to 125.4 for saturdays party.. still felt huge but way better then being 128... and I have maintained the 125ish number for the past three days... sunday was 125.6 and today was 125.2...

Im finally getting back into things... bad in some ways but honestly the number going down makes it soo worth it... I am not onto my next goal of 5lbs.... Im feeling if I keep up what I have been doing.. heavy restricting and exercise I should be able to possibly get at least half that off by next monday...

Im still feeling pretty shitty... Im layering on clothes like it was noones business... I cant stand how i look at the moment... I even hate my face..and with the new short hair cut its hard for me to hide it...

I really want to start doing a bit of modeling again but its hard for me to picture doing it when all i see is a fat ugly slob.... I havent done a modeling shoot since I put the weight on.... but with my new hair I need new headshots and such...

its a pain... i think Id feel a little better about it if I can get down to 120....lets hope so...

I just feel ugly... i like my new hair its cute... but modeling wise I thinking Im not as attractive now that my long hair is gone and feel like the pictures wont be as good :/

sigh

1 comment:

  1. I understand where you're coming from sweetie. I freaked out when I had 3 inches cut off my hair. I felt so much different and ugly. But you should be proud of your successes in maintaining =) Stay strong.
    XOXO

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