Thursday, January 31, 2013

Nothing lasts

Uhg Im a complete failure....

I cant manage to loose weight then just keep it off... I did it....

on saturday, the day before my photoshoot, I was 114.6 ...I was exstatic.... I cant remember when i ever saw a number below 115...

Sunday the day of the shoot I was 115... that was ok cause at least I was were I wanted to be... the day was long and tireing and busy but everything went well...

Un fortunatly I fucked it all up like I always do and am now currently sitting at 117.2 ...FML

I dont understand why i cant just continue loosing or stay the same.. it seems something always comes up after i hit a goal and then that goal is gone and im back to being crazy upset about it... I have been eating to much the last few days... I know thats why I gained it back... even tho I purge most of it... I hate doing that... I know its horrible...

I just for once want to drop the weight and see the lower number for a few days... if I could stay at 115 for a few days I would have been in such a better mood...

well back to crazy work schedules and never eating.....its just the only way....nothing else works ...

besides... I really dont need the food....I know this for a fact.... I went 6 weeks on just liquids when my jaw was wired shut...to bad i cant do that again....I would love to not be able to eat....

I dont need food... food is a luxery not a necessity.

2 comments:

  1. I'm glad that you got the photoshoot done, but I'm sorry to hear that your weight went back up. You got your jaw wired shut? That's crazy. Try to keep your head up darlin.
    XOXO

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