Thursday, May 17, 2012

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Day 12 Juice Fast

.....115.6......fml I dont understand how my body hates me so much.... this is the third day I have weighed the same and today I technically gained .2lbs.....yes I know its not alot but to me it is specially when I have been working so hard at the juice fast and working out....
What also sucks is that the book I'm following has a day to day journal of the authors last juice diet and by day 12 she was already down to 112.5... and she started at 127!! thats 4lbs more then when I started.

I'm getting irritated not to mention depressed and just ...bad... my anxiety is not going well... I worked out once today doing some crunches and leg lifts, plan on doing more after walking the dog later....my obbsesive working out is creeping back in on me
I'm just getting fed up with my stupid body..well I have news for it, I am not going to start transitioning back out of the juice fast untill I'm 107....thats it... I seriously dont care anymore... I have untill may 30th.. thats the day I am supposed to start eating fruit again. If I havent hit 107 by then I'm not going to eat. I'll just continue juiceing untill I hit it....

I am trying to not get to fed up cause before the fasting I had thoughts of cutting... which I never was a big cutter but did it a few times when I worked at a crazy stressful job... and I dont want to go back there...so I'm trying to keep my stress and anxiety down so the thoughts dont creep back in...

I seriously hate fat... I hate my body.... I sometimes wish I lived alone and didnt have to have any food in the house ever....

3 comments:

  1. I know what you mean about not having food in the house. If I didn't have kids, I wouldn't have food in the house. It's too much of a temtation. I am sorry you feel so down hun. Keep your head up sweetheart.
    XOXO

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  2. Uggg...I hate my body too. Stick with it. The point where you give up and binge might just be the moment that you would have lost a bunch of weight. You are doing awesome.

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  3. Just try not to over do it and stay calm :) I'm sure you will lose again soon! It's probably just because your metablism is slower than hers - it's not your fault :)
    Please don't cut!
    Lottie x

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